Before we witness Beyoncé slay the 49ers and Ravens at their own football game, let's revisit those performances over the years that never really made it passed the line of scrimmage at halftime.
When all the eyes of the world were watching, these were the five acts who caved under the pressure. If putting on an underwhelming concert was their field goal, then let's just consider these touchdowns.
1. Black Eyed Peas in 2011 – Take a band that people barely even like listening to in a schizophrenic SoulCycle class and then put them on the most watched 12-minutes in sports television. It's an idea that reads exactly like it sounds, but now take away the auto tune and let Fergie sing "Sweet Child O Mine." It looked and sounded like the inside of a Game Boy while falling down 15 flights of stairs. It was so impressively bad, I can confidently say that never has the world been more happy to see Usher make a guest appearance ever
2. New Kids on the Block and Disney in 1991 – Proof that boy bands and a Super Bowl don't mix. It's hard to believe pre-Michael Jackson that Super Bowl Halftime Concerts were ALLOWED to look like this. Now it's like, if you tell the Super Bowl organizers you don't plan to have at least two people dancing on fire, they're like, get out of here. And we're better off for it. Evidence: This unfortunate performance of New Kids on the Block singing in front of a replica of Disneyland's "It's a Small World" ride. The only watchable part is near the end when the boy band sings a heartfelt ballad on the stage steps and none of the children of the world want to sit with Donnie because LOL.
3. *NSYNC, Britney Spears, and Aerosmith in 2001 – Further proof that boy bands and a Super Bowl don't mix. If you ever wanted to know what it sounded like to listen to all of your scratched middle school CDs and all your parents' cassette tapes at the same time, this is the result. A mess.
4. Enrique Iglesias, Christina Aguilera, and Disney in 2000 – This time the Super Bowl thought it was a Chinese Olympics Opening Ceremony, except it was sooooo boring. From the heavy-handed feel-good message to the ridiculous air dancers you only see outside car dealerships, this really felt like that high school assembly all of us have slept through. Currently, only a 1:55 clip of it exists on YouTube, because 2 whole minutes is guaranteed to induce a coma.
5. Janet Jackson and Justin Timberlake in 2004 – This, in and of itself, isn't actually anywhere near the worst Super Bowl Halftime performances of all time. But the repercussions of that notorious "wardrobe malfunction" is something we all had to pay for nearly a decade later. Ever since J.T. sang "Gonna have you naked by the end of this song" and made it literally so in one fell swoop, so fell the possibility of ever having a Top 40 act on the horizon in the future. Scared from ever inviting a contemporary act back into the mix for what seemed like ever again, we were assaulted with classic older bands for years with no semblance of edge. Only recently, did the Super Bowl budge a little and invite the Black Eyed Peas in 2011, but we all know how that went (see #1 on this list) and now we're stuck in an endless black hole of awful Super Bowl Halftime performances.
Before we witness Beyoncé slay the 49ers and Ravens at their own football game, let's revisit those performances over the years that never really made it passed the line of scrimmage at halftime.
When all the eyes of the world were watching, these were the five acts who caved under the pressure. If putting on an underwhelming concert was their field goal, then let's just consider these touchdowns.
1. Black Eyed Peas in 2011 – Take a band that people barely even like listening to in a schizophrenic SoulCycle class and then put them on the most watched 12-minutes in sports television. It's an idea that reads exactly like it sounds, but now take away the auto tune and let Fergie sing "Sweet Child O Mine." It looked and sounded like the inside of a Game Boy while falling down 15 flights of stairs. It was so impressively bad, I can confidently say that never has the world been more happy to see Usher make a guest appearance ever
2. New Kids on the Block and Disney in 1991 – Proof that boy bands and a Super Bowl don't mix. It's hard to believe pre-Michael Jackson that Super Bowl Halftime Concerts were ALLOWED to look like this. Now it's like, if you tell the Super Bowl organizers you don't plan to have at least two people dancing on fire, they're like, get out of here. And we're better off for it. Evidence: This unfortunate performance of New Kids on the Block singing in front of a replica of Disneyland's "It's a Small World" ride. The only watchable part is near the end when the boy band sings a heartfelt ballad on the stage steps and none of the children of the world want to sit with Donnie because LOL.
3. *NSYNC, Britney Spears, and Aerosmith in 2001 – Further proof that boy bands and a Super Bowl don't mix. If you ever wanted to know what it sounded like to listen to all of your scratched middle school CDs and all your parents' cassette tapes at the same time, this is the result. A mess.
4. Enrique Iglesias, Christina Aguilera, and Disney in 2000 – This time the Super Bowl thought it was a Chinese Olympics Opening Ceremony, except it was sooooo boring. From the heavy-handed feel-good message to the ridiculous air dancers you only see outside car dealerships, this really felt like that high school assembly all of us have slept through. Currently, only a 1:55 clip of it exists on YouTube, because 2 whole minutes is guaranteed to induce a coma.
5. Janet Jackson and Justin Timberlake in 2004 – This, in and of itself, isn't actually anywhere near the worst Super Bowl Halftime performances of all time. But the repercussions of that notorious "wardrobe malfunction" is something we all had to pay for nearly a decade later. Ever since J.T. sang "Gonna have you naked by the end of this song" and made it literally so in one fell swoop, so fell the possibility of ever having a Top 40 act on the horizon in the future. Scared from ever inviting a contemporary act back into the mix for what seemed like ever again, we were assaulted with classic older bands for years with no semblance of edge. Only recently, did the Super Bowl budge a little and invite the Black Eyed Peas in 2011, but we all know how that went (see #1 on this list) and now we're stuck in an endless black hole of awful Super Bowl Halftime performances.
