Well, it’s a big year for movies, both for good ones and, well… some not so good ones.
Looking at the list of coming attractions in 2013 yields some cringe-worthy results. You know, the movies that make you ask: “How the h*ll did this piece of turd get made?”
Here are the five performances that we can’t wait to see fail. (In fairness, for all we know these performances could be Oscar-worthy, since we haven’t seen any of them yet… But, we highly doubt it.)
Kim Kardashian in Tyler Perry’s Temptation: Yeah, if you haven’t heard about this one yet, we apologize in advance for breaking the news to you. Kim is acting… in a movie.
In preparation for the sure to be Kardashian butcher-fest to come, Perry made sure to emphasize that the reality star’s part is “a small role.”
Everyone in Spring Breakers: This film has been getting promoted since what feels like last spring break.
Harmony Korine directs Selena Gomez, plus Vanessa Hudgens, plus James Franco with gold teeth… This could go one of two ways: a instant cult classic or a cinematic clusterf*ck.
Another Twilight, Only Different: Y’all remember the ensemble performance in every single Twilight movie that made even a cardboard cutout of Justin Bieber look like a revolutionary character study? Well, here’s another masterpiece from Twilight penner, Stephenie Meyer.
Let’s hope Saoirse Ronan and Max Irons can breathe more life into Meyer’s work than Rob and Kristen ever did.
LiLo with a Porn Star in the Now Infamous The Canyons: Lindsay Lohan in a film that was funded by Kickstarter… If you’re lacking back-story, click here.
Ashton Kutcher in jOBS: Remind us again what Ashton’s last good role was? (No, “That ‘70s Show” doesn’t count.) Even Ashton hates a lot of Ashton movies. (He previously told Esquire, “I know exactly what films I've done that f*cking suck donkey.”)
So, Ashton as Steve Jobs? Eh… We’re hoping it's good, but we’re skeptical. He sure looks the part, though!
