If you, like us, are a sane person then you probably wondered why 26-year-old Crystal Harris married 86-year-old Hugh Hefner.
Being a Playboy model isn't really a respected modeling job anymore and Crystal probably hurt what little reputation she already had, so it's not like she married him for publicity. On the flip-side, it's unlikely she married him for love, because he has other girlfriends LIVING IN HIS HOUSE, he needs Viagra in order to uhmm, perform, and he can’t live a long life with her. She’s not even in his will, so it’s not like she can rob him of his millions Anna Nicole Smith style.
Here’s what Crystal had to say about why she married the Playboy octogenarian.
“Well for me it meant more security, knowing that I am the one for him,” says Crystal.
And by “security” she surprisingly doesn’t mean “$ecurity.”
“There are always girls in and out and always the feeling of maybe being replaced…and he made sure I didn’t feel that way anymore and that was what the wedding was all about.”
SO those are the reasons FOR marrying Hef, but we could think of A LOT more reasons why you wouldn’t settle down with the Playboy mogul.
The CONS of Marrying Hugh Hefner:
1) You’re stuck on an allowance like a teenager. Sure, the allowance is $1000 a week, which after a few weeks is enough to buy new boobs, but you have to ask your husband to give you your check for that week like he's your boss. Weird.
2) There’s a curfew. There are rumors that the girlfriends have 9pm curfews, which is insane. His wife might get to stay out till, gasp, 10pm! Whooo party!
3) The house is disgusting: One-time Playmate Izabella St James wrote a scathing tell-all and dished on the gnarly state of the so-called mansion. “The mattresses on our beds were disgusting – old, worn and stained. The sheets were past their best, too.” And Hef’s room was the most disgusting, “If any of us visited Hef’s bedroom – we’d almost always end up standing in dog mess.”
4) You actually have to sleep with him: Izabella detailed in her book the old-fashion orgies, where the girls would literally line up while they waited to “jump on” Hef, whom Izabella said, “just lay there like a dead fish.”
5) Not in the will: Crystal reportedly signed an “ironclad” pre-nup, but she’s not in his will, so she really DID marry him for love (we guess) which is unbelievable because he’s not getting any young!